Friday, October 15, 2004




lost

i close the doors
lest the darkness robs me off my dreams

you know these ceilings.. doors
walls and floors
have ears

they listen and wait
and listen
and alert me
of the night that comes by

changes the mood
and the look of the sky
flattering me with stars
and some moonlight
romancing me
wooing me
to see what's forming in my mind

a dream
a stretch away
and the night knows that
for it will feed off of my dream
and flee

and i will be left with
nothing but
out stretched hands
and unshed tears


Friday, October 08, 2004






slip away

a millennia lost
you wait for me
will you find?
just wait and see

teeth baring
flesh searing
hard and hot
an old lust tearing

drool
a few centuries away
what you had
is not yours today

sober and sunken
my eyes to yours
tell an old tale
that never was

come back?
easy, if it were
an arm's length away
your heart to scorch

a mile-wide smile
a gleam of evil
nails to tear
a soul to shrivel

slip away
into the event horizon
i have nothing to give
no love. not even poison.

slip away
stop. desist.
wait another millennia
for i don't exist




enigma
an empty frame

77 days
not a tear shed

2033 heart breaks

a bundle of joy
in my arms

umbilical shreds

a ripped heart
a torn soul

lost forever

enigma
an empty frame

all that remains?

4 hearts
infinite love

my baby - he's gone.

twisted mind
a moment of insanity

and all is snatched.

implacable vengeance
last thought

before i lay him to rest.








sunnaata - silence

sunnaata
a thread of silence
grey stretched
to 2924.99 miles

a quest in the dark
with three tools in hand
a map
a heart
and silence

1.83333333333 days
i have nothing
nothing to lose

a bridge
a lost soul
a broken heart
i mended

my smile
your eyes
my heart
your hands

a walk
through reality
a game of numbers
a play of words

a dream of jute
a dream of silk
all silenced

a tunnel i
go through
not a soul
in sight
not a speck
of light

a trickle
a barrage
a roar of water
the sounds
miss my world

heat
nakedness
sounds of
togetherness
vanish

and i'm left with
silence
a numbing silence
erases my world
for i don't exist


Sunday, March 14, 2004






run

tunnel vision
a life to mould
with one breath left
no dreams to hold

run away
and reach nowhere
soul tired
nothing to spare

body limp
thoughts amiss
no light in sight
for me to kiss

graveyard shift
blood oozing out
senses run amuck
and i hear a shout

pierced hearing
head spinning
tissue tearing
heart sinking

walk away
and don't turn around
he'll steal your soul
and leave you spell bound

and you'll be lost
that he told me
i'm already lost
as lost as i can be


Saturday, September 07, 2002




blood

blood rolls off my fingers
shining foot-prints
on every tile
all red
all bright

leading me confusing me
going back and forth
you saw me
all quiet and still
you didn't see the prints

i chase your dream
then am lost
look around
..blood foot-prints
eerie

a drop .. a tear
through red and red
show fear
he's not here

stretched veins and souls
chalks and pencil strokes
one thread with shreds
all bright and red

shiny glass
broken rainbows
against flesh
piece by piece
thread by thread
all now shreds

a drop or two
of pure red blood
drip off my teeth
on to my tongue

a rollover journey
around my mouth
then onto my lips
and further down

meandering away
onto my navel
one stop wonder
like water on gravel

the color of night
dark midnight
feet still red
foot-prints still bright
my hands wrapped around
as i turn white





a room

four walls one roof one floor
and yet i feel lost

he told me to hide in there
in that room

he left me behind
locked the door

vacant space
and nothing within
me either

i surrender
to impulsive thoughts
and wait

12,045 cracks
on one wall and
on the others?

i fall asleep
to wake up cold
and find no one to hold

too tired to know
where i need to go
so i wait

i wait till dawn
and then dusk comes
my way

the blue blood
despises
and the red river
supresses

tears of blood
flow in vain
i see his ghost
disappear in the rain

unspoken promises
kept me going
until i didn't see
a dawn

nor did i see a dusk.

four walls a roof a floor
and i still feel empty.


Friday, September 06, 2002




a square?
night, yes, night before dawn
foggy damp dreary and warm, a sweater
thin and tight and shifting and lifting
i
lean on the edge of the bridge
rusty iron and wood creak beneath my feet

a quarter? and that's it?

the lines of my hand
etched in Normandy
lost in the basement
the first cold day
of the very first decade









s m i l e












s


m


i


l


e






close comfort
heart crashes
walls uprooted and thrown around

minds spinning
day fleeting
feelings sought, failings down

skin touches
the air singed
roars of summer
washed over by silence

wind in my face
curls sway on his
the sun looked out
spying on stolen kisses




a funeral, i prepare for
a requiem to write
a heart to bury
when no one's in sight.

a murder to commit
a crime to create
a heart to kill
when everything's at stake.

with fatigue of shock
those eyes do stare
at the invisible knife
and its murderous glare.

it comes closer
weaving in and out
chasing my voice
though i can't shout.

menacing prancing
sweeping glancing
reeling curling
ritualistic dancing.

i see it coming
i stand still
accept the fact
was born to be killed.

all i asked
was a little tlc
respect, faith
and to be set free.

naive of me
thought i deserved it
forgot my life
wasn't really mine to lead.

but now its all over
i wont feel a thing
my life will end
even before it begins

my wishes, my dreams
turned into the knife
tugging shredding tearing
my heart out of life.

scared or scarred?
wont know till it ends
seppukku? maybe
i see the knife, it bends.

the knife is out
with shreds of flesh
blood oozing and pouring
in a frenzy, a mad rush.

no scream, no pleas
a silent death
all i want
is me put to rest.

Monday, September 02, 2002





gravedance.

in the cemetery
white as a ghost
i feel the may heat
though buried to my soul.

sheets of rain
and then it pours
wash away the dirt
from fresh mounds.

bones unveiled
some flesh too
the rain glued wings
and then the soul flew.

the thunderous clouds
do make a beautiful gray
they did bid me adieu
as they made way

for those rays of sunshine
that sweep the cemetery
and purge the souls
to set them free.

i wait patiently
with arms open wide
and i look around
quite surprised
i find not an ounce of shade
nor a tree in sight.

why is there no rain on me?
i wish to bathe in its holiness.
no rays of sunshine do i see
and i want to ask for forgiveness.

and i do want my soul set free.

and i've been gone for long
so why does no tombstone exist?
i shiver and shudder and realize
for i don't exist.


tisha asher ? you wont find her here...

Sunday, September 01, 2002






..m...e...e...r...a..















m






e






e






r






a













....that name was one of
....the few things we agreed upon. it's a pretty,
....pretty name... stayed in my mind.
....(and i'm sure his too..)

........*meera*


....petty indulgence of mine
....what am i thinking?
....my head hurts

....my thoughts
....my breath
....my heart

....belongs to meera

....i sit here
....weighing life in many languages
....and her unspoken words
....arrive unsaid

....me and my greed
....watch the red river supress dreams
....and me - all of me belongs to meera.

....i still wake up cold and fearful of the demons
....but meera's unspoken calm words guide the demons
....out of me.. and my soul.

....i hold my breath
....and let the rain seep into my soul

....i let the firefly guide me..
....i let him shine light on my soul

....monsoon moss and wild flowers
....tell me a story.. and make me distant

....but my soul still belongs to meera.

....stopping to rest by my shadow
....black blue raindrops fall to the ground
....wanderous clouds turn black shadows
....to gray by the hour

....i wander in search
....search through my soul too
....i find no one
....her soul alone.. waits somewhere

....meera?......... she was never there.


....as clouds convolute my soul
....as shadows coil over mine, in whorls
....as tears merge with the raindrops

....i see my heart
....- raw
....- open
....- honest

....i hear a requiem.

....its not about meera
....it never was.

....its about him
....he's playing the requiem

....for my dying heart.